


Certainty

by BuddyTheMeanPeacock



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuddyTheMeanPeacock/pseuds/BuddyTheMeanPeacock
Summary: Aversa's thoughts turn doubtful as she muses on her past actions. Priam gives his simple insight.
Relationships: Inverse | Aversa/Priam
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Certainty

She remembers Emmeryn.

A kind soul, down to her bones, her very spirit. She only ever wanted peace, an end to the seemingly endless fighting that almost plagued the very soil her home was founded upon. Despite her unparalleled magical prowess she had never once seen the woman use it to harm another. Not before the fall. Not before the fall she forced her to commit.

She has long since stopped trying to rationalize it away, stopped trying to give excuses brimming with denial. She remembers how _gleeful_ she felt as she ordered the archers to fire, to shoot down the pegasus corps who had wanted so desperately to save their benevolent ruler. She remembers the horror on Emmeryn’s face, on those of her younger siblings, on the army who traversed the Plegian desert just to save her. She remembers - she swallowed back bile - she remembers the _delight_ she felt as Emmeryn walked off the edge, was falling, the serene look on her face, she remembers as Emmeryn hit the ground with a sickening, wet _thud_.

All of the magical healing power within her. The fall looking worse than it truly was. A simple, plain miracle. However it had happened, Emmeryn lived. She is no longer Emmeryn, instead a lost soul who’s found the body of Emmeryn and is perpetually confused, wondering who she is, who she was. Her younger siblings look upon her with a look indescribable, their grief and mourning forcefully extended as they are forced to watch their wise, brilliant sister reduced to a mere husk, only truly good for healing and fighting with that unmatched magic.

Aversa caused that.

She can pretend it was all Gangrel, all Validar, all of their doing, that she was merely following orders, that she was a poor brainwashed girl who only thought she had free will, but that is wrong. It was just as simple as that. Validar can force on her all of the memories he so desires, Gangrel’s crazed charisma can sweep her along as wildly as the ocean, there is only so much that can be blamed on others. She felt true _joy_ at the suffering she inflicted. That joy has not disappeared; the fact that disgust now crawls down her throat at the thought of the past does not mean she doesn’t remember how she felt, it did not fully extinguish the (light, so light, barely felt) spark of _delight_ in her heart. 

It was wrong of her to sulk in such self-pitying thoughts. That knowledge does not keep them away.

She roamed the land, hoping for some revelation, something that could get rid of the guilt, the revulsion, (the memories of jubilation, of relish) give her an answer to the question of _what can she do, what can she do, what can she do._ They say everyone deserves a second chance, but how far does that extend? At what point can one’s actions stop being forgivable? Is it right of her to be able to start over due to some sob story that stayed the shaking hand of a grieving brother, that made that hand instead extend itself in camaraderie? How far can the poor little girl, the poor survivor of a slaughter and victim of kidnapping and manipulation, how far can she get Aversa before she stops being a _reason_ and starts becoming an _excuse_? 

Aversa, for as long as she discovered Emmeryn’s condition, has been seeking ways to use her own supposed exceptional magic to bring the kind woman back to her former capabilities, but is that not itself just a selfish means to give herself some sort of relief? Would she have done this for another? For any of the countless other people she caused such trauma?

She took a deep breath.

A delectable scent filled her nose.

She looked down at the table in front of her. Her many notes had been pushed to the side to make way for a roasted pheasant that looked as delicious as it smelled. She looked over her shoulder, looking into familiar gray-blue eyes.

“Come. You’ve been here for hours.”

Priam. A strange, strange man, to be sure. To be taken in by her power, not to use in some cause, but simply for its strength, his raw desire to fight alongside the strong. To look at her and see not a wretch fumbling to get into the good graces of others, but instead a woman, strong, searching for atonement for actions deeply regretted. To learn of her past and not be repulsed, not turn his head away, but want to help her. Want to fight alongside her, fight against her for them both to grow stronger. Want to love her, to live with her, be by her side on and off the battlefield. 

She chuckles at him, a playful smile forming on her lips. “Hours may seem like such a long time to read for _you_ , dear, but this is truly nothing. I’m fine, really.”

“Still, you should eat.” He slices off a piece of bird and lifts it with a fork. “If you’re worried about messing up your notes, I can feed you while you read.”

Aversa laughed at that, hoping that that would hide the blush on her face. “Oh, you are _such_ a dear, aren’t you? What have I done to deserve you?”

As Priam’s own face grew red at her words she herself paused, the joviality of the moment leaving. Her eyes leave her beloved’s and land on the endless papers before her. “What have I done indeed…” she mutters. 

She feels a feel on hers, heavy and calloused. She looks back at her love, a set look on his face.

“You are trying. That’s what you’ve done.”

Aversa took another breath. “Is that enough?”

There was a moment of quiet, Priam’s gaze turning contemplative. Then he speaks.

“It’s all you can do.”

Aversa squeezes his hand. “ _And that’s enough?_ ” she whispers.

Priam leans in, wrapping an arm around her, his other hand running through her hair. 

“It will be,” he whispers back.

Priam has told her of the many men and women in his company. Of the multitude of stories they carry behind them, not all heavy but certainly not all light. They all seem to hold onto their pasts with such ease, as though none of it weighed a thing. Could she one day have that same strength? Does she deserve to ever gain such a status?

_It will be._

Her answer could not be found here, wondering and wondering, and she knows that. Alas, her thoughts seemed determined to wander down that road nonetheless, taking her time away from finding her answer. Aversa wraps her arms around her love, his presence an anchor, his simple view a welcome respite from her tangled thoughts. 

Of all the things she doubts of herself - whether she truly felt guilt, whether she was deserving of this life she now lives, whether that poor girl from the slaughtered village could ever truly have her chance to grow - she is sure of one thing: she loves Priam. Loves his straightforward thoughts, his understanding heart, his determination, his relentless, ridiculous training regimen, the way he cooks pheasant. 

She was sure of her love. Maybe one day, she can be sure of everything else too.

**Author's Note:**

> Omg, it's not DimiClaude? Or even 3H? who the hell is this lmaooo
> 
> But yeah, Priam/Aversa has been a long held crackship of mine ever since reading a really good fan-made support for them a few years ago. They hold the potential to be a really nice pairing! I probably won't be making too much more content unfortunately lol, this is just a spur of the moment story
> 
> The fan-made support!: https://missing-fea-supports.tumblr.com/post/127216202456/priamaversa-supports-c-s


End file.
